While we’ve spent years writing about the insane antics that went into the making of your favorite movies, we’ve never once discussed co-stars accidentally getting married to each other. And that’s because it’s practically impossible, barring the world’s most improbable series of sitcom-esque misunderstandings — or apparently, Francis Ford Coppola.

In a recent interview, Winona Ryder outed that she and Keanu Reeves might be married as a result of their onscreen wedding in 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula being officiated by a real-life priest. (“In that scene, Francis [Ford Coppola] used a real priest … he did the whole thing. So I think we’re married.”)

Columbia Pictures“Please don’t cheat on me with those hot naked vampires from the beginning of the movie.”


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Why an actual priest instead of, like, an actor priest? According to Coppola, it’s because he shot a version of the scene with a fake priest and wasn’t happy with the result. And instead of getting a better actor to play the priest, he decided to whisk everyone down to a nearby church and have them do the ceremony for “realsies” … not realizing that pinky-swears don’t annul marriage vows.

At first Keanu thought he was being pranked … until Winona reminded him that not only was their fake-ass ceremony conducted on Valentine’s Day, but they also recited their vows and replied “yes” to that all-important question. Keanu, being Keanu, replied in the most on-brand way: “Oh my gosh, we’re married.”

While this situation raises the question of how many other screen marriages might have been legal, it’s good that neither Keanu nor Winona went on to marry other people after filming concluded. We’re really looking forward to Stranger Things and Bill And Ted 3, and it’d be a shame if filming was interrupted by the cops busting them for polygamy.

Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to.

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